Moving to the UK: homesickness, loneliness and starting again

Feeling homesick and lonely after moving to the UK is very common, and it is not a sign that you made the wrong decision. Moving to a new area or country is one of the life changes the NHS lists as a cause of loneliness, and homesickness, the longing for familiar people and places, is something most people feel to some degree when they are away from home. For many people these feelings ease as new routines and relationships form, but it can help to understand them and to know where to find support if they do not.

Key points

• Homesickness and loneliness are normal responses to leaving familiar people, places and routines behind.
• You can feel lonely even when you are surrounded by people, including colleagues, flatmates or a partner.
• Small, regular steps, such as joining a group or keeping in touch with home, tend to help more than trying to change everything at once.
• If low mood lasts more than two weeks or is affecting daily life, it is worth speaking to your GP.
• Talking therapy, including in your first language, can help you make sense of what you have left and what you are building.

Why do I feel so homesick?

Homesickness is often described as the distress that comes from being separated from home and the people and things you are attached to, with a strong longing for home and thoughts that keep returning to it. Research suggests that almost everyone, children and adults alike, feels some degree of homesickness when they are away from familiar people and surroundings.

When you move to another country, you leave behind far more than a place. You may be missing family and friends, your language, food, weather, humour, religious or cultural rituals, and the simple ease of knowing how things work. Even everyday tasks, such as registering with a GP, opening a bank account or making small talk, can take more effort in a new system. That constant effort can be tiring in a way that is hard to explain to people back home.

It is also common to feel mixed emotions at the same time: excitement about new opportunities alongside grief for what you have left. Some researchers have described homesickness as a kind of “mini-grief” for home and the people in it. You can be glad you came and still miss home deeply.

Why do I feel lonely when I am surrounded by people?

Loneliness is not the same as being alone. The NHS notes that you can feel lonely even when you spend time with a partner, friends or family. After a move, you might have colleagues, flatmates or classmates, but still miss the feeling of being truly known by someone who shares your history.

The NHS describes different kinds of loneliness, including emotional loneliness (missing a close bond), social loneliness (missing a wider circle or shared interests) and a deeper sense of feeling alone even among people you know. Moving abroad can bring all three at once, especially in the first months.

What can help with homesickness and loneliness?

There is no quick fix, but NHS guidance on loneliness suggests a number of small, practical steps. You might try:

• Keeping in touch with home through calls, messages or group chats, without letting it replace building a life where you are.
• Joining a group or class around something you enjoy, whether a sport, a choir, a language exchange or a faith community. You can go along to watch first if you feel nervous.
• Spending time where other people are, such as a park, a library, a café or a local event, even if you do not talk to anyone at first.
• Volunteering, which can bring a sense of purpose as well as company.
• Setting small, achievable goals rather than trying to do everything at once.
• Doing things you enjoy, such as walking, exercise or listening to a podcast, so that each week holds something to look forward to.

The NHS also suggests avoiding a few things that can make loneliness worse: comparing yourself to others (social media often shows only the highlights), dwelling on what you cannot change, and relying on alcohol, cigarettes, gambling or drugs to cope.

Is it normal to feel worse after the first few months?

Many people find that the early weeks pass in a rush of practical tasks and novelty, and that the harder feelings arrive later, once life settles into routine. This can be confusing, especially if you expected to feel better by now. It is a common experience, and it does not mean things will always feel this way.

It can help to be patient with yourself. Building close friendships takes time anywhere, and more so in a new country and perhaps a new language. Notice small signs of progress: a neighbour who says hello, a café where they know your order, a colleague you can have an honest conversation with.

When might it be more than homesickness?

Homesickness and loneliness are not mental health conditions in themselves, but if they are severe or go on for a long time, they can affect your wellbeing. The NHS notes that long-lasting loneliness may increase the risk of problems such as stress, anxiety, low mood and depression.

It may be worth seeking support if:

• Your mood has been low for more than two weeks.
• You are struggling to sleep, eat, work or study.
• You feel hopeless about the future, or find little enjoyment in anything.
• You are withdrawing from people, or using alcohol or other substances to get through.
• Old difficulties, such as anxiety, depression or past losses, are resurfacing.

If you live in England, you can register with a GP and refer yourself to NHS Talking Therapies for free psychological support for common problems such as anxiety and depression. You do not need to see your GP first, though you need to be registered with one. Your GP can also talk through how you are feeling, and may be able to connect you with local activities and support through social prescribing.

How can therapy help after a move abroad?

Therapy offers a space to talk about the move without having to reassure anyone or explain the basics. Some people want to explore what they have left behind and the losses that come with it. Others want help with the practical and emotional pressures of a new job, a relationship, or family expectations from home. For some, moving brings up older questions about identity and belonging: who am I here, and who am I when I go back?

A move abroad is one of the big life transitions, and like any transition it can be unsettling as well as hopeful. Talking it through can help you hold both.

If English is not your first language, you might find it easier to talk about these feelings in your mother tongue. If Turkish is your first language, you can read more about therapy in Turkish.

Support with me in English or Turkish

I am an integrative psychotherapist registered with the BACP, working with adults online by secure video across the UK and internationally, and in person in Farringdon, Central London. I offer sessions in English or Turkish, so if you have moved from Türkiye or grew up speaking Turkish, you are welcome to use whichever language feels most natural. You can read more on my Turkish-speaking therapist page.

If you are in crisis, call 999, go to A&E, call NHS 111, or contact Samaritans on 116 123 (free, 24/7).

If you are finding it hard to settle and would like to talk, you are welcome to get in touch and arrange an initial consultation. You do not need to have everything worked out first.