Therapy for relationship difficulties, London and online

What relationship difficulties can feel like

Relationships can be our greatest source of comfort and our deepest source of pain. When they feel difficult, it can affect everything: sleep, work, confidence and how we see ourselves. You might be dealing with conflict with a partner, a strained relationship with a parent or sibling, friendships that leave you drained, or a pattern of attracting people who are not good for you.

Often people notice the same dynamics turning up in different relationships. Perhaps you always end up looking after everyone else, or you find it hard to trust people even when they seem kind. Perhaps you avoid conflict until resentment builds, or find yourself reacting more strongly than you would like.

Relationship difficulties can also arise around big changes, such as moving in together, having a baby, caring for an ageing parent or adjusting after a separation. Sometimes the hardest part is feeling that you have lost yourself somewhere along the way, and no longer know what you want or need.

How I work with relationship difficulties

I offer individual therapy, so our focus is on you: your experience, your feelings and the choices open to you. You do not need your partner or family to take part for things to start shifting.

Understanding your patterns

Drawing on psychodynamic ideas, we can explore how early relationships with caregivers may have shaped what feels familiar to you now, such as how you handle closeness, conflict and trust. Many people find that understanding where a pattern comes from makes it easier to choose a different response.

The relationship in the room

The relationship between us can also be useful. From a person-centred perspective, I aim to offer warmth, honesty and acceptance, and some people find it is the first relationship where they can say what they really feel without fear of the consequences. Noticing how it feels to be heard in this way can be quietly powerful.

Practical communication and boundaries

Using CBT-informed ideas, we can look at the thoughts that tend to come up in conflict or closeness, such as "I am too much" or "they will leave", and how they affect what you do. We might also think about how to express your needs, set boundaries or prepare for a difficult conversation. This is not about learning a script or becoming someone else. It is about understanding your own reactions well enough to respond in a way that reflects what matters to you, rather than what fear or old habits dictate.

If low self-worth is part of the picture, you may find my page on low self-esteem useful too.

What to expect

We begin with an initial consultation to talk about what is happening and whether my approach feels like a good fit. If we go ahead, the first sessions are about understanding your relationships, past and present, and what you would like to be different. You do not need to know exactly what the problem is before you get in touch. Many people start with a vague sense that something keeps going wrong, and we work it out together. You can read more about your first session.

I work online across the UK and internationally, and in person in Farringdon, Central London.

If you are in a relationship where you feel frightened, controlled or unsafe, please know that support is available. You can contact the police in an emergency or a specialist domestic abuse service, and we can think together about your safety.